This post might prolly sum up everything about my love for a beautiful woman. Or rather, a lady. Then again, the keyword is might cause I may miss a thing or two about you.

Back then in 2009, I first knew you on Tagged and we met. Who would believe this fairytale that if you find the right one on Tagged, you will succeed. It was also a period of time whereby I never knew that Commonwealth exists in Singapore. Right, an estate where you lived with you grandparents. And there goes, a real beautiful girl that I immediately set my eyes and heart upon. As you stood there still on the escalator down. Those pair of eyes, those curls, those brows and that very cute little t-shirt of yours. I never imagined myself to ever meet a dream girl.

The phase of trying to get to know you was tough. It feels like we belonged to two different worlds and it was just difficult of you to let me in. I tried, and again I prolonged that friendship of ours. Love developed. For a start, as a friend. And then for a bestfriend. Till the later part, as a lover. In simple words, I've never really stopped loving you up till this minute and I guess I never will either. You were attached. I wonder how did I get by those moments. It felt like my heart got crushed the moment I knew that you were someone else's. I had no control over your life and okay, I told God I'm gonna accept that.

All I wanted was to be around you. In case you never knew, I skipped school to just be near you. Not be near you just cause I skipped school. Clementi is only another two stops away from Commonwealth. I would have gone to school if I wanted to. I was daily from Tampines why would I wanted to take advantage of your place. Still, you mistook my intentions and never let me in.

2010 was a little challenging. I got attached to another, I never wanted to disclose it to you. All cause I wanted to assure myself that no, I'd rather lie than disclose it to this person because yes I like you that much and all I ever wanted was be with you. Hurt came in. You went missing, changed your number, and all the other ways possible to go missing. I kept asking time and again where did I go wrong. My health turned bad that period of time, life became a lot more than just complicated. My mum was suspected of kidney infection. One leads to another.

I had school. I had work. Still, I choose to keep reminding myself, I want to be with you.

IAP came. I was working in a hotel, I just had to go find this missing person. You had your downfall, you kept mum, I wondered why. I could have been there for you. I will be there for you. Cause I really like you. One way or another, I owe your aunt for showing me the way to your place. I just got my car license and hey! I was that excited to share the joy with you. I never knew you lived in Jurong West instead of Commonwealth. I came down but you weren't that excited to see me. Still you never let me in.

That very same year you met a guy. A guy who happened to be my ugly senior back then in secondary school. A guy whom you fell in love deeply. A guy who set my heart breaking for disclosing both your relationship on a wonderful morning at Geylang Serai! I felt cheated, I don't blame you. I never will. I'll always be there for you, that was my promise, and I did. Conspiracy, drinks, clubs, getting drunk, all in one. I solely remember how you cried on my shoulder that night. That was also the night I told myself, I will make you mine, and I'll never hurt you the same way this guys did.

So I put in all I could to prove to you that I am the one. I don't know how many guys I outbeaten back then. January 2011 was too beautiful. Too beautiful a memory on the day I made you mine. I took that risk. It'd be a shame if you rejected me though. I step on that chance. There goes, I'm a sucker for expressions so I wrote you that little note. Since that very day, I never felt any happier and loved in life. Thank you for accepting me.

Our relationship was one hell of a roller coaster ride. I probably failed as partner. I had bad people around me and an apology can never deplete those hatred in your heart. When I had that second chance, I really thought I did. I'd risk anything for you. Even if it means costing my life. Forgive me for the wrong things I have done. But this love for you, is just something I'm not ready to let go of. If ever you think and relate, I'd rather swallow hurt by you than you getting mad with me. I miss the Hasheezah I've always knew. Are you still not going to ever let me in even as a friend?

I love you sayang. If you're ever reading this, sometimes I really wish I'm born a man. Even if I can give you all the love I have and all the things you need, I can never give you a family. I'm probably the selfish one for loving you too much. But you'd prolly be the selfish one if you just wanna throw me out just like that..

One thing for sure, you're irreplaceable.